I've been doing fine now and I'm enjoying every bit of it. For so long, I never have realized about a lot of things, and now, I'm slowly putting the pieces on the right place. And I couldn't be more contented and happier with what's happening with my life lately. As the song goes,
"I've been learning to live without you now..". Siguro enjoy na enjoy ako ngayon kasi ngayon ko lang nakilala talaga sarili ko. Ang dami ko palang hindi alam, dyos ko! I wasn't able to catch up with my own shadow pala.
And as I enjoy being me again, being the person who I should really be and being someone who doesn't find comfort in other people's presence, something is coming up again and I'm pissed off about it. Kung kelan pa naging okay na ako, tsaka pa nagkaproblema family namin. As I was growing up, my family sure had some sort of feud, but not like this one. Not this big. Hay nako. Kasi naman. Lumaki kasi mga ulo nyo. This will never happen if some people didn't let their feet float off the ground. I just hope everything's going to be fine, but I don't think it's going to be the same as before, pero bahala na. Tang ina, pamilya tayo. Tayo dapat nagtutulungan, mga gago.
So enough of that kasi I might say things that I shouldn't say na.
Enough of the feud issue ha. Let's go to the happy side of my life. Lol. Mom got me a new laptop nga pala. It's nice, considering the price. Though I've always wanted for an Apple, but di bale na. I'm like reaching for the moon naman kasi eh. I'm loving my new laptop now. Salamat Mom! Sa uulitin. Lol.
O sige na nga, I know naman that I can't end this post without spilling out something about him. Nyek! Pero seryoso, I don't feel something na talaga. I'm not being defensive here, I'm just being honest ah.
He's been texting me and I'm not replying talaga. I don't know but I don't think he's worthy of a second of my time. Sinayang ko na ang anim na taon ng buhay ko para sa kanya, and I think it's best for me to make bawi for myself naman. Tama na, please? Hindi ba masyadong obvious na ayoko na? Utang na loob, kahit magkaibigan siguro, di ko na kaya. Nakakainis lang kasing isipin na kahit yung friendship na inoffer ko sa kanya, di nya kayang iappreciate. Putang inang shet.
Kung pwede lang ako magchange ng number, gagawin ko. Kaso narealize ko, ba't ko pa siya bibigyan ng importansya? I've had enough. But hey, I don't hate him, and I don't like him either. You see, we can be just two civilians without having the need to communicate or something. O nga, friends. Pero there are friends naman that don't communicate di ba?
Masaya na ako ng ganito. Alam ko rin naman masaya ka. Palagi ka ngang happy eh. Sana naman bigyan mo ako ng chance na mafeel ang pagiging happy. Masaya pala maging masaya noh?
Gusto ko 'to. Nagagawa ko na mga gusto kong gawin talaga. Kumakain na ako ng takuyaki na walang nagsasabi sa akin na the sauce smells like puke kahit hindi naman. I listen now to Jason Mraz without someone telling me that he's gay. Nakaktulog na ako ng mahimbing sa gabi. Lol.
Wala na talagang feelings. Last night nga, I was cleaning up my room tas I saw our picture nung birthday ng pamangkin nya. Six years ko yun tinago, pero I threw it away na last night. Wala na yung space sa room ko. Andami nyang text today. Eto some of them:
verbatim:
kai, wer ka? . . wana eat out? . . my treat. . d place, ur call. . :-)
psst. . got no load? . . :-D
sent you load. . text or call me when you read dis. .
asan ka? . . ur not answering. . forgot 2 bring ur cell again. .
puntahan na kita. .
And true enough, he went daw to my condo sabi ni Ya, but I wasn't there anymore. I got out of my pad, right after he texted me that he's coming over. Lol. Yeah, I'm avoiding him kasi baka, baka lang naman, mahulog na naman ako sa mga pacute nya. Nyek! Kaya ko 'to.
Amen.
